Kousuke's Awfull day
by Axelsfireangel
Summary: Kousuke just wants to relax but instead he is orderd by Ryoko and the rest of the Blade Children to go do some grocerie shoping, problem is he's broke and has to find a way to get the items or he's homeless again. Funnier than it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

AfA: Yes, my second story, I've proven to the world I can actually stop being lazy for once and summit something.

Kousuke: Oh goody….

Eyes: Stop complaining and do the disclaimer

Kousuke: Axelsfireangel doesn't own Spiral or anything from it, she only owns her sick twisted mind that thinks torturing you favorite character is perfectly fine

Kousuke is told to buy groceries

"Kousuke go get us some more milk, and some yogurt too," Ryoko said poking her head out of Eye's refrigerator.

Kousuke glanced over at her, not getting up from the couch he was laying on, "Why do I have to do it, if you want it go get it your self."

Ryoko growled under her breath while closing the regenerator door, "Stop whining and be usefull!" Ryoko snapped throwing the last yogurt cup at Kousuke.

Kouske's eyes widened for a split second before he fell of the couch in an attempt to dodge the yogurt cup. "Geez I'll go already, you don't have to though things at me…" Kousuke complained while getting up of the floor, he looked around to see where he had once been laying now coverd in yogurt, "I'm not cleaning that up you know," he said turning around to face Ryoko.

Ryoko sighed and walked over towards Kousuke. "Of course you won't clean it up," she said getting a suppressed look from Kousuke who couldn't believe he actually won. Ryoko smirked, "You have to go to the store and buy not only the things I have already told you to buy but also some stain remover first, before you can clean the mess you made me do."

Kousuke stared at her dumbfounded, "What, but, Fine! I'll do it," Kousuke spurted angrily. "So does anyone else need anything while I'm gone" Kousuke said sarcastically to the other two people in the room who had been quite up till now.

"Well since you're out maybe you can buy some crumpets and tea," Eyes said while looking up from his music sheets at Kousuke. Kousuke's whining interrupted the Pianist practice and he knew there would be no silence in the room while the said redhead was in the room. If giving Kousuke more groceries helped achieve that silence then that was what Eyes was going to do, besides he liked crumpets and tea.

"You know I was being sarcastic," Kousuke replied looking at Eyes like he had said something extremely stupid.

"I know," Eye's said looking up at the ceiling before giving Kousuke a hard glare, "And may this will teach you not be sarcastic with me, now go get me tea and crumpets."

"But can't you just get them with roomservise!?" Kousuke exclained pointing to the phone in the corner of the room.

Eyes tried to hide a smirk; it was so fun teasing the hot-tempered blade child. "But they don't have the crumpets I like," he said softly with a pitiful look on his face.

Kousuke growled, "Fine I'll do it, anything else?!" He said looking around the room angrily.

"Actually I would like some Takuyaki if you don't mind that is." Said a southern-style accent from the door.

Everyone in the room turned towards the door, "KANONE!!!" They exclaimed as the said person walked into the room with his normal carefree expression on.

There was some awkward silence before Kousuke asked the question on everybody's mind, "What the hell are you doing here Kanome"

"Well hello to you too Kousuke, I think what I'm doing here is fairly obvious, I'm standing talking to you, but if you want to know why I'm here it's 'cause I wanted to see my fellow BlaChi's," Kanone explained cheerfully while everyone sweatdroped at both Kousuke's stupidity and the way Kanone answered him.

Kousuke sighed, if he stayed any longer he knew he would get more orders so he figured he better leave while he can. " Well I'm going to go before any of you find anything else for me to do so, see ya" Kousuke said rushing to the door.

"Wait a minute idiot!" Rio said catching Kousuke off-guard and making him fall down. She got up from where she was sitting and walked over to Kousuke, " You don't think you could get away with not buying me some melons now did you," she said while looming over the fallen Kousuke.

"What, but they're really expensive" Kousuke said while getting of the ground.

Rio glared at him, "I said get me some melons"

Kousuke sighed in defeat, this just wasn't his day, "Fine I'll go, I'll go but you guys owe me" He said as he closed the door to Eye's huge penthouse. He had know Idea how much worse his day would get.

Kousuke: What do you mean by it's going to get worse, how can it get worse!

Eyes: I'd like to know that myself…

AfA: Aww come on, if I tell you that now it would ruin the surprise,

Kousuke: I don't care, tell me now!

AfA: (grins wickedly) well if you must know lets just say a certain red-head is a little short on cash, but that's all I'm going to say.

Kousuke: Tell me more

Eyes; (sighs) Please R&R, the more reviews the faster AfA will post new chapters, and I don't think Kousuke can stand the suspense,


	2. Chapter 2

AfA: I have reviews I'm so happy! So to celebrate I'm going to write the next chapter as quick as I can.

Kousuke: But shouldn't you be…

Ryoko: Doing your History Project!

AfA: But doing my history project gives me a headache, and writing this makes the headache go away, so in a way this is helping me

Ryoko: That would be a good excuse if you didn't work on the project only 5 minutes and then work on this for…

Kousuke: 30 minutes

AfA: I'll finish it eventually, anyway why are you scolding me, and don't you normally scold Kousuke on these things

Ryoko: Now that you mention it, Kousuke did you finish the eassy we have to do for class!

Kousuke: We had an essay?

Ryoko: Yes We Did! It's due today so you better get started right now! (drags Kousuke away)

Kousuke: (pouted) But it doesn't mater if I turn it in or not because school means nothing to me.

Ryoko: I don't care if you care or not, your going to complete the essay, and you are going to finish high school!

Kousuke: Help don't leave me with this maniac! I don't want to write a stupid essay! (is dragged of screen by Ryoko)

AfA: Bye Kousuke, hope you have fun. Anyway I guess I have to do disclaimer. I do not own Spiral, Target, Wall-mart, or Kmart, but I do own this story and the Name of the store Kousuke goes to, as well as the made up names through this story.

Kousuke Goes Shopping for Stain Remover, Milk and Yogurt

'Okay I need to get Milk, Yogurt, Stain remover, tea, crumpets, takuyaki, and a melon' Kousuke thought going over all he needed to buy mentally while heading over to the store. He remembered Ryoko talking about a store that had every thing that was two blocks away from Eye's apartment and since Kousuke didn't want to make more than one stop he decided to go there.

When he reached it he sweatdroped while reading the stores name, "The Great Big Gigantic Store That's Bigger Than the Biggest Target, Wal-Mart, And Kmart Put Together, who named this store, a 4 year-old." The Great Big Gigantic Store That's Bigger Than the Biggest Target, Wal-Mart, Kmart Put Together did live up to its name though, it stretched on as far as the eye can see, and was 10 stories high.

Kousuke went through the revolving doors, finding himself standing in front of what appeared to be a map of the store. "Man, this store is so big it needs a frigen map, I'd hate to have to work here," Kousuke said while looking over the map. "Well at least most of the Items are on the 1st floor, only the Takoyaki, the Tea and the crumpets are on another floor," Kousuke stated relived that he wasn't having to search the entire store floor to floor to get the Items.

Kousuke went to get a basket before he went in the direction of household items for the stain remover. When he retched the stain removers he sweatdroped, 'Stain Remover A, and Stain Remover B, geez who comes up with these names, oh well they are the same price so I'll get the A one I guess' Kousuke thought while reaching for one of the Stain Remover A.

"Stop right there young man! I refuse to let you be so naïve as to by Stain Remover A when Stain Remover B is far superior." Came a female voice behind Kousuke. It was an old woman in her 70's; she had her brownish grey hair pulled up in a bun and wore a blue apron dress.

Kousuke looked at her puzzled, what did it mater to her what brand he used

Wanting to get this over with he put back the Stain Remove A and picked up one of the Stain Remover B. "Fine I'll get the Stain Remover B, now will you back of and mind your own damn business." Kousuke said walking away from the strange lady. He wasn't watching wear he was going though and bumped into someone.

The person who Kousuke ran into looked like a duplicate of the other one except she had a green apron dress instead of a blue one. She looked at him sternly, "That women might back of but not me, don't listen to that old bat Stain Remover A is the best buy" She said while taking the stain remover from the startled Kousuke and put it back on the self.

"Don't go filling this young lad with lies you know Stain Remover B is the best." The women in blue said madly to the women in green.

"You're delusional, Stain Remover A is obviously the best, House Wife magazine even says so," The green wearing lady argued back.

"That magazine is full of lies, besides it's a Maids World said Stain Remover B was the best." The other women spat.

This fight went on for a few more minutes till something caught Kousuke eyes, a third stain remover brand, Stain Remover C, wanting to get away from the old crones he picked it up and snuck away from the two women fighting.

Kousuke turned left and walked down a few isles till he got to the refrigerator goods. Kousuke found the milk and when he opened it he was about to grab a milk carton when he noticed it was chocolate milk. "Wait, there is no regular milk, Ryoko's going to kill me" Kousuke whined noticing there were no plain milk and Ryoko only drank plain.

"There are some but you have to look for them," came a voice from behind Kousuke. The voice was of an employee of the store; he was a big muscular man who could easily be mistaken as a pro body builder.

"You got to be kidding me why should I have to..." Kousuke said annoyed turning around to face the person who expected him to actually have to search for the milk, his attitude changed however when he actually saw the gigantic man. ""But I guess it just can't be helped, I mean, no need to cause a big guy like you any trouble." Kousuke said with a fake smile on his face, feeling relieved when the employee went away.

Kousuke turned back to the self with the milk and started to sort through them, "Chocolate, banana, strawberry, goat, sheep, coconut…grape milk, Why can' I find some plain milk, damn it!" Kousuke yelled angrily. He was surrounded by various kinds of milk cartons and had searched almost the whole self. He was about to give up when he noticed one of the last few cartons was labeled milk, just plain old milk. He was saved.

"Finally now I can get out of here," Kousuke muttered as he started to head to get the yogurt, the next item on the list.

"Wait one moment, where do you think you are going leaving this mess?" The big scary employee said while cracking his knuckles.

"Where ever I damn want to…oh its you," Kousuke said looking up at the giant. "You know I guess it wouldn't be too much trouble for me to clean up, I mean I did make the mess anyway" Kousuke said laughing nervously, 'If this guy wasn't ten times bigger than me I wouldn't waste my time on him,' Kousuke thought angrily while he started to pick up the milk cartons thrown haphazardly on the ground.

When Kousuke finished cleaning the mess he made he got up and went over to the yogurt self right next to the milk. While picking up the last yogurt pack he grinned to himself, 'it seems my luck has gone up, if I got here any later there probably wouldn't be any yogurt left.'

Right as he was thinking this an overweight women came down the Isle yelling at our poor hero "How dare you take the last package of yogurt, it's mine!"

"What is it with COMPLETE STRANGERS coming up behind me and talking to me as if they know me!!!?" Kousuke yelled turning to face the women, steam coming out of his ears. "And anyways why do you need yogurt so bad you start yelling at strangers." Kousuke said hotly.

The fat women looked at Kousuke like he just asked the simplest question in the world. "I need the yogurt, silly boy, to help me make my wonderful figure even more beautiful. Don't you know eating yogurt makes you thinner" She said pompously.

"Trust me, you don't have a figure of any kind except round, and no amount of Yogurt, or any kind of food is going to change that." Kousuke spat; unaware of the doom he just put himself in.

The women's grip on her purse tightened, "Did you just call me fat..."

"Yes, yes I did and there is nothing you can do about it." Kousuke said smugly.

"Why you little brat! How dare you talk to me that way, I'll teach you some manners!" The women screeched while hitting Kousuke over the head with her purse, which actually had bricks in it.

Kousuke covered his head with his hands, "ow ow, okay I'm sorry, I'm sorry, can you stop hitting me now!" Kousuke exclaimed trying to get this madwomen of him.

"Not until you learn how to treat a lady with respect!" The madwomen said hitting Kousuke even harder with her purse full of bricks.

By this time Kousuke knew the only way he was going to get away from this women was to run as fast as he can and try to lose her. So he ran.

Kousuke: (appears out of nowhere) Hide me! (hides behind AfA)

AfA: (sweatdrop) okay… well anyway this is the end of the second chapter, yay!

Ryoko: (also appears out of nowhere) Where's Kousuke?! He hasn't finished doing his essay!

AfA: uhh that way (points in random direction)

Ryoko: Thanks, see ya (runs of towards said direction)

Kousuke: Thanks, I owe you one.

AfA: (smiles wickedly) Of course you owe me.

Kousuke: (pales) Why do I have a feeling that this is going to turn out

AfA: please R&R, for each review Kousuke gets a cookie, or if you have someone else you want to give a cookie to you can write who they are in your review

Kousuke: Hey why do others get cookies, they didn't have to survive your torture

AfA: It's because reviewers might want to give cookies to people other than you, and we want to do everything to please the reviewers. On a side note, if you want to give them something else, like candy, cakes, plushies, or exploding presents feel free to do so, remember If you can think it, I can give it to the Spiral cast, with commentary from them about each present.

Ryoko: (from far away) WHY ARN"T YOU TWO DOING YOUR WORK!!!!!

AfA&Kousuke: got to go, bye! (crash into each other trying to go opposite ways, get swirly eyes)

Ryoko: (standing over the now unconscious AfA and Kousuke) When will those two learn that I won't have to force them to do homework if they just did it in the first place instead of waiting for the last minute. Anyway there is a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter for a later chapter, If you can guess what it is then you will get a cookie from you're favorite character, and even if you get it wrong you will still get a cookie just a smaller one, bye-bye for now.


	3. Chapter 3

AfA: first of all I'd like to apologize to all my readers for not updating this story earlier, but I have a good reason. I had loads of homework and finals not to mention a writers-block --; anyway on to the presents .. Okay I have a lot to hand out,(picks up a basket full of cookies, pulls out a sugar cookie with sprinkles which has a ribbon around it with a card attached) This is a cookie for me from Kracked Klock, thank you. (Gets another cookie out, this time it's chocolate chip) Here is one for you Kousuke also from Kracked Klock.

Kousuke: Well I deserve at least a cookie from all the hell you put me though in these stories.

AfA: Just say thanks, or you will be wearing a hula skirt singing 'Barbie Girl'

Kousuke: Thanks Kracked Klock

AfA: Now for our next cookie(grabs two cookies, a oatmeal and a peanut butter one) Here are the last two cookies, one for Eyes from xXTomokoXx(hands Eyes the oatmeal cookie) and from Kidshippo a cookie for Rio(hands Rio the peanut butter cookie)

Rio&Eyes: Thanks

Kousuke: Wait! Why should they get cookies when I'm the one who gets tortured, and on that subject why do you, my torture get a cookie as well?!

Rio: stop being so self-absorbed Kousuke!

Eyes: She's right, after all it is no walk in the park making you miserable everyday. I mean we have to think of new ways to torture you everyday…it's very hard work.

AfA&Rio: (Nod in agreement)

Kousuke: I HATE YOU ALL!!!

AfA: Aww don't be like that, look you got a special present form one of the reviewers, Kidshippo (Hands Kousuke a beautifully wrapped present that was as big as a medium size T.V.)

Kousuke: (Kousuke starts to unwrap the present)Well at least the reviewers have some sympathy fo…(the present exploded in his face, and he gets completely coverd in soot.)

AfA, Rio & Eyes: (Laugh there heads of in different stiles, AfA has fallen to the ground laughing so hard, Rio is bent down clutching her stomach she is laughing so much, and Eyes was leaning on a wall trying to stop from laughing by covering his mouth with his hands but failing)

Kousuke: (still covered in soot) It isn't funny! (he gets no response as everyone else is still laughing) I still hate you all!!

Rio: I'm sorry Kousuke….ha ha…It's just so funny(Rio managed to say before falling back into fits of laughter.)

Kousuke: Since no one else seems to be able to speak it seems I have to take on the responsibilities of disclaimer, oh yeah to SRSLWS it was a nice guess but you are giving AfA too much credit, it's not that subtle, but for trying you still get a cookie(hands her a sugar cookie), everyone can still guess what the foreshadowing is, it will end when it actually happens which is two chapters away, the chapter after the next if you can't understand that. You also get a hint, and the hint is that anything I don't like or would hate to be, AfA will defiantly make me suffer though it. AfA doesn't own anything except the plot, and the stupid name for the store that's not even mentioned in this chapter so I have no idea why I have to include that.

Kousuke gets all the other stuff

Kousuke sighed, after running in and out of isle's he finally lost the crazy lady with the brick purse; problem was, he also lost himself. "Man, how did I get myself into this" Kousuke muttered while looking around at his surroundings to try to see anything familiar. Kousuke was in an area of the store that was very dark. Purple candles were hanging from the ceiling and the selves were coverd in voodoo items and sharp objects, all of which Kousuke knew wasn't on the map.

At the end of the isle was a big box of melons, with a light from above and heavenly music playing. Kousuke grinned, "Yes! Finally melons" he exclaimed while running to the melons away from the dark and gloomy part of the store.

"Who's melons are you talking about?" said a very familiar voice.

Kousuke gulped as he turned around, there behind him was the crazy lady with the purse of bricks. "Listen I know you think everything in the store is yours but it's only yours when you buy it, other people can buy things you know"

The lady growled, "Stop trying to change the subject, you know darn well what I mean!"

"No I don't know you…" Kousuke growled back, before realizing what melons she thought he was talking about. "Wait I think you got it wrong, I was actually talking about these melons, not the ones you are thinking of" Kousuke tried to explain while gesturing to the big box of melons.

"So you admit you were thinking about them!" the women accused.

"No I wasn't, didn't you hear me right, I said I wasn't thinking about that."

"But you had to think about it to realize what I meant!"

"You're going to start hitting me with your bag aren't you." Kousuke said looking nervously at her pure.

"You bet I am!" She said as she raised her purse.

"Gotta run!" Kousuke said picking up the melons and running. He quickly raced to the elevator the scary bag lady chasing behind him. He reached the elevators and cursed as he found they were all out of order. He looked to his left and found the stairs.

"Man…who knew there were so many stairs going to the 10th floor" Kousuke panted as he reached the 10th floor, after running all the way up there. He looked around and found that the whole 10th floor was completely coverd with food carts.

Kousuke found a takuyaki cart, and got Kanomes takuyaki fairly easily, finding out he only had to pay for the Takuyaki when he cheeked out.

"Okay now to find the tea and crumpets…ah there they are," Kousuke said finding a cart selling those items. "Hey can I get some tea and crumpets?" Kousuke said inwardly shuddering at having to sound so…British (A.N. I'd like to point out that I have nothing against British people, Monty Python was British and I love them to death).

"What type of tea do you want, mint tea, peppermint tea, black tea, decaffeinated tea, lemon tea with a bit of honey into it…" The person behind the counter started to list all of the different teas they sold.

"I don't care, all I want to do is buy some tea and get this over with" Kousuke said exasperated.

"So one strawberry tea" The counter said pulling out some tea bags, "So what kind of crumpets do you want, regular, sugar-free, reduced fat, no-fat, reduced sugar…"

"I thought I said I don't care!" Kousuke yelled annoyed.

"Well fine, here art your items _sir," _The guy behind the counter said defensively handing Kousuke the tea and a non-fat crumpet.

"Finally!" Kousuke exclaimed as he took the items and went to the elevators that had just been magically fixed. He pressed the button to go to the 1st floor and walked directly to the cash registers.

Kousuke growled under his breath, after he finally found all of the items he thought checking out would be a breeze, but cruel fate had decided otherwise. All cashers had a line of at least 15 people, not to mention each person had at least 50 items.

"Finally!" Kousuke exclaimed as he got to the front of the line after an hour and a half wait. He was just starting to think he got through the worst of today till he heard how much the items he had to get cost.

"Your total rounds up to $160.75" the casher said when he finished ringing up Kousuke's items.

"What?" Kousuke said surprised, he knew it would be expensive but he never expected it to be that expensive. He didn't even know if he had enough money to buy everything. "Well let's see, here I have…" Kousuke mumbled while digging his hands into his pockets. "A quarter, a button, a Kitkat bar, and a tiny piece of string" he said while pulling them out of his pocket. " So, do you guys have a tab system of some sorts?" Kousuke asked hopefully.

"We do, but only for regular consumers, and those we know will be able to pay," the casher answered, "we do however hold items till the end of the day for those costumers who don't have the money but can get it later."

Kousuke sighed in relief, sure it would be hard to get the money but at least he wouldn't have to find all the items again. "Okay save them for me, I'll be back" Kousuke said while leaving the store to find a way to get some money.

AfA: (back on my feet) Okay now that we have enjoyed a nice laugh what do you guy's think?

Kousuke: I think it's awful

AfA: Not you, them (Points to readers)

Eyes: Is it me our are you making a lot of jokes that have a vague resemblance of those that are used in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Monty Python's Spamalot

AfA: I can't help it, I'm going to see Spamalot tomorrow and I'm so excited about it…'cause 'I'm not dead yet.'

Kousuke: Didn't you already see it on Broadway, what's the point in seeing it again off of Broadway.

AfA: You honestly have no since when it comes to the wonderful art of musical theater, and Spamalot rules!

Eyes: (sweat-drops) even though the whole Spamalot rules thing wasn't needed she is right about musical theater, it's different every time you see it which is why people love to go.

Rio: Um…is it just me or did we get completely of subject.

AfA: I don't know, what subject were we on

Rio: (face-faults) You really are ADHD…

AfA: (pumps fist in air) AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!!

Rio: (sweat-drops) right, anyway please R&R people

AfA: Oh yeah I was wondering if you like reading the intro's and endings of the chapters with me and the characters of Spiral, or just skipped past them to the story, 'cause it's a blast writing them and I wanted to know if I'm just writing them for my own amusement or do you find them funny as well.


End file.
